Saturday, March 20, 2010

More than 15 Ways to Get 15 Minutes of Fame - by Sybil Sage

With the excessive media coverage, ever-growing number of bloggers and You Tube, it's now almost impossible to avoid getting fifteen, if not more, minutes of fame. Some surefire methods:

Lose a tremendous amount of weight, be the spokesperson for Jenny Craig, gain it back and parlay that into a television show;

Become his mistress, or better yet, have the baby of a married politician and pose for Vanity Fair; in the event you're male, pretend you've fathered said baby and write a book;

Crash a White House state dinner;

Get mauled by a 200-pound chimp or keep one as a pet;

Admit to having been sexually abused as a child, best if the perpetrator was famous;

Cover yourself with tattoos and have an affair with the husband of an Oscar winner;

Use all three of your names and assassinate a world leader;

Make all of Julia Child's recipe and blog about it;

Write a fake memoir, get support from Oprah and then have a family member reveal the truth;

Sing beautifully while looking frumpy;

Join the astronaut program and drive across the country to lash out at a romantic rival;

Have your school prom canceled because you intend to bring a same sex date;

Hide a bomb in your shoe or underpants;

Text message while piloting a commercial aircraft and forget to land;

Be nine years old and deliver your mother's baby;

Attach yourself to someone likely to come to as tragic an end as Michael Jackson or Anna Nicole Smith;

Become a religious leader, teacher, doctor or dentist and, in that capacity, have sex with someone;

Transgender, but start by having a famous parent;

Be named a "person of interest" in an unsolved murder case;

Preach to a congregation attended by a presidential candidate and make outrageous statements;

Gain stature as a super model and throw objects at your assistant;

Land a plane safely in the Hudson River;

Father the child of Sarah Palin's daughter and pose for a magazine spread;

Be a high profile athlete and then take steroids, attack another athlete or be attacked, admit to a sexual addiction or conduct dog fights;

Admit to running a huge ponzi scheme or be a family member of one who does;

After being in the administration, write a tell-all book blaming everyone else;

Gain fame and try to leave Scientology;

Be the oldest person in the world and die, but be aware your 15 minutes will be posthumous;

If all else fails, be named Britney, Lindsay or Paris and go to parties.


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