Craigslist: Position Available at White House

Gatekeeper needed asap.

-Must be able to stay awake during shift

-Someone who can distinguish invited guests from party crashers

-Demonstrate ability to read names on list

-Reality show contestants need not apply

-Entry level position



Salary TBD

2012: the end of Oprah, or of everything? -- by Sybil Adelman Sage

Heaped on top of the existing and illogical wars, economic woes, job scarcity, terrorism, genocide, trafficking of women, global warming, identity theft, the greed of pharmaceutical companies and Wall Street tycoons, we're worrying about health care reform, Social Security going broke, swine flu and how to deal with Guantanamo prisoners. Our only distractions are medical announcements about mammograms and pap smears, along with the finding that Zetiya doesn't prevent heart attacks.

Thank goodness for the Mayans, who predicted that life as we know it will end on December 21, 2012. Why do we have to wait? My fear is what they were referring to was Oprah leaving network television. We need everything to end, if not change dramatically. Oprah has enough clout to insist that Comedy Central roasts, reality and award shows go off with hers.

President Obama must be as relieved as I am. If the Mayans were right, no matter how many more troops we do or do not send, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan will be over in two years. Future generations will not have to pick up the tab for what we're spending. And there will be no Cheneys or Ann Coulter gloating, "The apocalypse happened on Obama's watch!"

The filmmakers who made the movie must also have had faith in the Mayans; if ever there was a movie with no sequel potential, it's "2012."

Advice to Women: you don't need medical care -- by Sybil Adelman Sage

This past week women learned from a task force (consisting of no oncologists) that those under the age of 50 should hold off on getting mammograms. Women welcomed this news as it means fewer of those experiences having their breasts pressed into a panini.

An unrelated finding, this from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, is that pap test screenings are best postponed until after the age of 21 and be done less frequently.

Other task groups will surely announce that since women have a longer life expectancy and tolerate illness better than men, they should be denied medical care. Diagnostic tests for women may, in fact, be a frivolous luxury that's been adding to the burden on our already strained economy.

Moving women out of doctors' offices will free up physicians to be available to help men whose erections are lasting over four hours.