Wednesday, August 5, 2009

"Always Ready Man:" 24/7? - by Sybil Adelman Sage

How many times have I been jolted out of a deep sleep by a TV commercial with a booming male voice pushing Cialis so that he can "always be ready"? Getting awakened by promos for sexual aids is the new getting awakened to have sex.

Cialis also makes a shorter-acting dosage that will limit his readiness to three days, no doubt tailored for those with sexual ADD, medical residents, firefighters, astronauts and the terminally ill, but also useful for the commitment phobic. By checking the dosage, the partner can predetermine how long to expect him to stick around … unless he’s a day trader and will spread his readiness around.

As a woman already multitasking and on overload, I hope our house will be a Cialis-free zone. And it’s not just my husband I'm thinking about. I wouldn’t welcome an "always ready" guy at one of our dinner parties. The commercial cautions those taking the sex-enhancement pill not to drink excessively, which can be a useful screening tool. If a man is limiting his alcohol intake and is not a recovering alcoholic or Muslim, it could be he’s on Cialis. As a hostess, I’d rather not have a dinner guest who’s "always ready" come into the kitchen while I’m scraping food off plates.

The promo makes the claim, "Only a physician can determine if it’s right for you." Aren’t they overlooking the guy’s partner, the one who has to respond to his new, round the clock readiness? It could cut into time designated for finishing a novel, training for the marathon or engaging in a scrapbooking project. I've been told Cialis is a blue pill. So is Ambien. Would he notice if they were switched?

There’s an added cautionary note advising the "always ready" guy to call his doctor if he has an erection lasting more than four hours. Trying to reach a doctor is a lot like calling Fandango. You get a series of taped options, telling you the appropriate button to push, none telling you what to press "if your erection is heading into hour five." Better than calling a doctor may be to scamper over to Hooters.

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