George to Barack:
-No matter how bad things are, don't admit to anything worse than "It's a challenge." If ya have ta talk about the wars, do like me, just say we're winnin'.
-Give out nicknames. Seems friendly and ya don't have ta remember real names.
-Make sure ya know how to pronounce things. Your speech writers kin spell stuff phonetically, like Peh-tray-uhs. Learned that back in college from the people I paid ta write my papers.
-Make sure ya wear your lapel pin. They'll think ya care about the country.
-Don't answer nothin' the press asks. Ya' kin pretend it's bad for national security or ya kin just turn around and walk back inta the White House.
-Gittin' a dog, now that was a hellova idea. If a dog leaks, the carpet it wrecks idn't yours and it's the kinda leak that won't get a whole lotta nasty books written 'boutcha.
-Make no mistake about it, I'm the guy ya wanta follow. I made it that the president is the decider so ya kin do whatcha want without askin' anyone.
-"W" worked well for me. Ya gonna go with "H"?
-Your press advisor has ta be able ta keep a straight face, specially while lyin'.
-Ya want a ranch or someplace ta chill. The president kin take any amount of vacation days.
-If you're lookin' for my "Mission Accomplished" sign, it's under the bed. Always makes Laura laugh.
-It's not forever and ya kin turn over the mess ta someone else and call it a smooth transition.
Laura to Michelle:
Find an area where he's lacking, bless George, that was so easy, and make it yours, like I did with literacy.