Monday, November 10, 2008

THE BUSHES ADVISE THE OBAMAS...by Sybil Adelman Sage

George to Barack:

-No matter how bad things are, don't admit to anything worse than "It's a challenge." If ya have ta talk about the wars, do like me, just say we're winnin'.

-Give out nicknames. Seems friendly and ya don't have ta remember real names.

-Make sure ya know how to pronounce things. Your speech writers kin spell stuff phonetically, like Peh-tray-uhs. Learned that back in college from the people I paid ta write my papers.

-Make sure ya wear your lapel pin. They'll think ya care about the country.

-Don't answer nothin' the press asks. Ya' kin pretend it's bad for national security or ya kin just turn around and walk back inta the White House.

-Gittin' a dog, now that was a hellova idea. If a dog leaks, the carpet it wrecks idn't yours and it's the kinda leak that won't get a whole lotta nasty books written 'boutcha.

-Make no mistake about it, I'm the guy ya wanta follow. I made it that the president is the decider so ya kin do whatcha want without askin' anyone.

-"W" worked well for me. Ya gonna go with "H"?

-Your press advisor has ta be able ta keep a straight face, specially while lyin'.

-Ya want a ranch or someplace ta chill. The president kin take any amount of vacation days.

-If you're lookin' for my "Mission Accomplished" sign, it's under the bed. Always makes Laura laugh.

-It's not forever and ya kin turn over the mess ta someone else and call it a smooth transition.

Laura to Michelle:

Find an area where he's lacking, bless George, that was so easy, and make it yours, like I did with literacy.

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