Anticipating the October Surprise..by Sybil Adelman Sage

I have to imagine that pharmaceutical companies, so adept at turning our tsuris into their profits, are feverishly developing drugs to cash in on the soon to be diagnosed syndromes, "recession reaction" and "chronic campaign fatigue."

Hopefully, they're rushing to combine chemicals to help us cope with however many "my friends" are still in store for us and outlandishly sinister accusations lodged by a woman attempting to wink and blink her way to the Vice-Presidency.

Is there any shot there will be a vaccine to prevent a possible October surprise, perhaps a conveniently timed report of a terrorist attack or threat to bolster the Republican claim that they're best equipped to "keep us safe?"

If nothing else, how about over-the counter roll-ons you apply to your forehead for immediate relief? Which of us wouldn't be willing to spend our remaining few bucks to anesthetize ourselves with products likely to be named:

"Screw Soccer Moms"
"Poll-ease"
"Undecided No Mo"
"Dismissing Da Mavericks"
and the big, across the aisle, money maker, "Blazing Through Bankruptcy?"