Biden's October Surprise Party...by Sybil Adelman Sage

Dreading an October surprise must have been too stressful for Biden, so, in a pre-emptive move, he provided it himself by announcing that Obama would surely be tested during his first six months in office and would need a lot of help.

I have a tendency to blurt out October surprises all year long, which is why tables, mates and the below sea-level kick to the shin are so useful. It's too late to retract Biden's statement, but he should be kept seated, wife at his side, her foot in in the ready position to prevent his from finding its way into his mouth. If that isn't possible, how about a muzzle?