Tuesday, September 2, 2008

senator mc cain, i'm available...by judi sadowsky

while it looks like john mc cain's hasty choice of sarah palin for his vice-presidential running mate might be in jeopardy, it is natural to be thinking about who may get the job if the palin situation turns out to be untenable. i know many in the republican party have strong feelings about this, as well they should. there are those who are backing romney and still others who think huckabee or pawlenty could fill palin's pumps, but i have a better suggestion.

what about me? i don't mean to brag but i was the president of the p.t.a., won most popular camper at camp wapasocky and was room mother for three years running at my son's elementary school. while it is true that my daughter never had a child out of wedlock, i did once catch her making out with her boyfriend in the family room. i tried to make the two of them get married but they both rolled their eyes at me and walked out of the room.

as for my foreign policy experience, i have had my passport for over thirty years and have eaten in every ethnic restaurant in new york and los angeles. i am relatively attractive and, while i have never eaten either moose or caribou, i would bet my right arm that governor sarah has never once tried kishka, gefilte fish or matzoh ball soup. while i don't hunt or fish and there are no dead animals decorating my home, i am sure i could shop ms. palin under the table. you can't tell me that that won't come in handy on all those overseas trips i will be required to take as vice president.

all in all, i really don't think i would be such a bad choice. i don't have any scandals in my past, my "first dude" has never been arrested for a d.u.i. and most importantly of all, according, obviously, to john mc cain, i have two breasts and a vagina.