angelina, hagen daaz and me...by judi sdowsky

yesterday i took a mental health day. i stayed in my nightgown all day. i never showered nor brushed my teeth. i ate bad food and read a really trashy novel. i was happy. at peace with the knowledge that i was not contributing one thing to the community, the country, the world, the planet or the universe. then i made a fatal mistake. i went on line.

that is when i found out that angelina had just given birth to twins. perfect twins, of course. a boy and a girl. the newest jolie-pitt daughter has an actually normal name (unusual these days for movie stars. we do still remember apple and sunday) vivienne. the new son, not so normal. they have named him knox. i'm sorry, i can't help but think of gelatin. i know it is a generational thing, but i can remember when we thought that a healthy, daily dose of knox gelatin would insure beautiful and sturdy nails. at any rate, while i was laying about in my nightgown, angelina was popping out twins while still managing to look gorgeous. she now has six little critters under her belt and from the sound of things they are no where near being done. she has become this generations mia farrow.

the news of angelina's babies ruined my perfect day. what have i done lately? it seems so long ago since i popped out my measly two children, i felt like i was no longer holding up my end. but, i must admit, that after half a pint of hagen daaz and a bag of doritos all that angst faded and i settled back with my trashy novel. there is a lot to be said for trash. no offense angelina.