Monday, June 16, 2008

my heart belongs to judi sadowsky

after spending an absolutely perfect father's day with the husband and our two children, i couldn't stop thinking about the sweetness of a good father/child relationship. i think we all had on our minds, the untimely death of tim russert, and his very public and oft, expressed love and admiration for both his father and his 22 year old son luke.

22 is just too young to lose a dad. i think back on my own father and how in the 22 years since he has been gone, how often he is my thoughts. mothers are mothers. the butt of jokes and the lynch pin of sit-coms but fathers, as least back in my generation, were much more mysterious beings. while moms stayed home and cooked, cleaned and drove carpool, dads went off to that far away place called the city - returning home in time for a dry martini and a home cooked dinner. in my house "wait until your father gets home" did not always mean a good thing. my father was the ultimate weapon my mother used when nothing she said or did would stop my sister and i from trying to murder each other. i don't ever remember my father acting on any of my mother's warnings, but just the sound of her threat was enough to straighten us up. i always wanted to please my dad and while he was not the most effusive or affectionate kind of guy, i always knew he loved me. he was the last word in any argument, and as we grew older we valued his intellect and common sense. he was not a perfect man, but in 22 years his flaws seemed blurred by his goodness.

i know my children know how much they are loved by their father and he knows just how much they adore him. they are well grown, my two, no longer in need of the kind of parenting they did when they were young and yet, while 22 is too young to lose a father, i actually think we are never really old enough to get over the loss of our daddy's.