Sunday, April 20, 2008

Posing nude for a calendar and other ways to embarrass your kid...by Sybil Sage

If ever someone should have called me for advice, it was the seven, middle-aged, Spanish moms who posed for a tongue-in-cheek, erotic calendar to raise money for their children's tiny, rural school and are now stuck with 5,000 unwanted copies and owing the printer $16,000. I would have urged them to think of a fund raising dinner or silent auction, less risky and not so likely to embarrass their kids.

The moms may have been inspired by the group of women in Yorkshire, England, who'd raised $2.55 million for cancer research by selling a calendar of discreet nude photographs of themselves that inspired the 2003 movie Calendar Girls.

Being photographed wearing nothing but tinsel or posing nude behind a red umbrella isn't what kids would have their moms do. That marks you as being "uncool." But there's no shortage of ways to humiliate your child, such as:

- Talk to your kid in the presence of their friends. Talk to their friends. Talk to a waiter, a stranger, well, talk to anyone.

- Wear an orthopedic shoe, even briefly.

- Ask questions of their teachers and while on school tours, doing your usual bragging or complaining about the kid.

- Yell out loudly during a sporting event and follow by complaining to the coach your kid wasn't given enough playing time.

- Have strange things in your refrigerator, which could be anything from prescription medications to blue cheese.

- Sing loudly during a religious service. Sing anything ...anytime, anywhere.

- Try too hard or not enough, i.e., dressing to show your midriff or going around with a missing tooth.

- Take tango or any lessons with your husband and demonstrate what you've learned.

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