Friday, March 7, 2008

i've got a hole in my aura

after a really lousy and emotionally draining week, a friend of mine suggested i go see her reike master and get my chakras cleared. for those of you who don't know anything about eastern healing practices, or don't happen to live in los angeles, reike is an ancient japanese practice for healing both the body and the mind. i really didn't know much about it myself but, since it wasn't going to hurt, i figured i would give it a try. i knew i couldn't feel any worse than i already did.

the master (or mistress, i guess, as she was a woman) was very nice and very calming. she barely touched me as she worked her hands down my body from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. after about fifteen minutes she suddenly let out a gasp. "what's wrong"? i asked. "someone has punched a hole in your aura" she answered. "can it be fixed"? i was starting to grow anxious. i had just come through a really traumatic week and the last thing i needed was a hole anywhere, much less in my aura.

"not to worry" she said as she began scrubbing the air above my body. after about five minutes she stopped. "there you go. good as new". when i went to pay her she wouldn't accept any money. she said it was the worst tear in an aura she had ever seen and she couldn't, in good conscience, take money for repairing it. i must admit, i had no idea what she was talking about, but i walked out of there feeling much better than when i walked in. here i was with a brand new, spanking clean aura and it was free.

as i got in the car my cell phone rang. it was a dear friend who just returned from a long trip abroad. i was so happy to speak with her that i started the car and neglected to put on my seat belt. i was driving and talking, on the way to meet my sister for lunch, when i heard a police siren behind me. i pulled over. it seems i had made a right turn on a red light. making a right on a red is something that you are actually allowed to do in california except when there is a great big sign that says "no right turn on red". the policeman said he guessed i missed the sign because i was so busy talking on the phone. i had a cop who thought he was a comedian. i gave him my license and then he asked for my registration and insurance card. i tore the whole car apart but my registration was no where to be found and my insurance card had expired.

after writing up the ticket the cop asked me why i was driving around like this - no seat belt, no registration and an expired insurance card. i figured, at this point i had nothing to lose and so i told him "i have a hole in my aura". "oh god, have you been reikied?" he asked.

i love l.a. it was a lousy end to a lousy week but it was over and only in my home town would a cop, who had just given me a ticket, be concerned about my chakras.

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