this afternoon i had an appointment to join the ranks of my contemporaries and get my first botox injections. i was set to meet with the doctor at two o'clock. by 9:00 a.m. i had chickened out. i wasn't afraid of the pain. everyone from my trainer to the check out girl at the market had assured me it wouldn't hurt. and i wasn't as afraid as i used to be of injecting poison in my head - so close to the brain that it makes me queasy just to think about it. no, i chickened out because of something my son said. now, before i go any further i feel i should tell you that my son rarely, if ever, comments on my appearance. i don't know about the rest of you mothers of sons, but mine never seems to actually see me, in the same way that he never actually seemed to notice the new sofa . he is not a bad son - he is a wonderful son. he is kind, caring, considerate and if his only fault is, that to him, i am just another piece of furniture, than so be it.
when i mentioned that i was getting botox, however, he was outraged. "why would you do a thing like that"? he asked. "i don't know. to look younger, better. all my friends have done it. even my manicurist has had botox". i answered. "and if they all jumped off the brooklyn bridge..." he retorted, calling to mind an old phrase of mine used ad nauseum, i am sure, during his childhood. i shrugged. he went on. "don't you see. if you get botox you will lose the you in you". "what are you talking about"? i asked.
he went on to tell me how the thing he loves best about my face is how expressive it is. botox would change that he was sure. he understood why i would want to look smooth, unlined and younger but it didn't necessarily mean that with all that i would look better. and so i canceled my appointment.
ten minutes after canceling, i picked up the business section of the new york times and there, on the front page, in living color, was arianna huffington, in all her fifty-seven year old glory and not a wrinkle or line in sight. that face, that had created one of the most successful blogs in the blogosphere was as smooth as a babies bottom. suddenly, i felt guilty. i felt i had let our loyal bicoastal broads' fans down. didn't they deserve a wrinkle free co-founder as well?
now, all of you know that i, like sybil, would do anything for bicoastal broads, so if any of you feel that i should grit my teeth and go get shot up before our first anniversary bicoastal broads' cross country bus tour, speak now or forever hold your peace.