yesterday i lost my glasses. i looked everywhere and for four hours i could not find them. part of the problem of losing your glasses is that, without them, you can't see well enough to find them. i tore the house apart and was in a complete rage when i happen to walk past the bathroom mirror. i try very hard never to look in this particular mirror in daylight. not only is there a large window next to the mirror but just above it is an enormous skylight. i was much younger when we built this house and i never could have envisioned, back then, that a day would come when looking in the mirror, in direct sunlight, would be so painful.
at any rate, i looked and much to my surprise, i looked great. not a wrinkle or a line to be seen. as a matter of fact even my increasingly gray hair seemed to be darker, shinier and silkier looking. i squinted and moved closer to the mirror. there was no doubt in my mind - i definitely looked ten, o.k five, years younger. i stepped back so i could get a full length look and i swear to god i looked thinner. not dramatically, but just enough so that i could probably fit into last years jeans without lying down on the floor in order to zip them.
suddenly, the fact that i couldn't read, could not watch t.v. and definitely could not drive a car did not matter so much. without my glasses, i looked great. unfortunately, a few hours later i found my glasses - right where i left them. i was relieved because i could read the morning paper but sad that with my glasses, back on the end of my nose, where they belonged, i was thrown back into old age.
that night, the husband mentioned that he was thinking of getting lasik surgery. i panicked. i realized, that all these years he had been telling me how beautiful i was, how young i looked and how amazing it was that i never aged - he wasn't just being nice - he was blind! and that, my dear friends is how i like my men. if i can help it, there will be no surgery for him. it is bad enough that i have to see what i really look like, there is no way i am going to let him see it as well.