Monday, February 4, 2008

to thong or not to thong?

i sent my friend a gift this week. three pair of thong undies. as we are both women of a certain age, thongs are not something we take to naturally. my daughter turned me on to the joys of thongdom after years of nagging me about visible panty lines (known to the cogniscenti as VPL). my friend, on receiving the surprise gift in the mail, had many questions. i was happy to answer and guide her through the mystery of a new kind of undergarment.

first of all it is important to put the thong on with the wide part in front. if you don't, and many have made this mistake, you will, i promise you, get far more than you bargained for. the next question is when to wear the thong. for seasoned thong wearers, all the time is the right answer - for newbies it may be a different story. i myself have finally graduated to the point where i wear my thongs all the time now, even with a skirt. for the beginner this is not recommended. to wear or not to wear the thong to the gym - that is the question. you will find, once you have grown accustomed to being partially bare - you no longer require any undergarments in the gym. those tights, leggings or workout pants were made to be worn commando. how liberating is that?

the last and probably most important point to know about thong wearing is to never, and i mean never, glimpse yourself in a three way mirror. under clothing, thongs are god's gift to women - in the flesh, not so much. if your mate or significant other happens to catch you in the act of dressing or undressing don't panic. just continue what you are doing, taking special care to never turn your back on him. if need be back out of the room.

in my dotage, i have learned how to use a computer, cell phone, and a digital camera. just think of thong wearing as a way to stay relevant. just think of your new panties as the ipod of the underwear world. walk tall and proud with your skin tight jeans and no VPL.

9 comments:

Flutterby said...

Every time I see a thong ad my first thought is PAIN. They just don't look comfortable at all. And I am definitely not into pain - haven't worn high heels in decades.

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