Thursday, November 1, 2007

Why I Don't Buy Into Astrology

Would you choose to be lumped with Jerry Lewis, Ivana Trump, Svetlana Stalin and Alan Thicke? They, too, are Pisces.

Most days everyone's horoscope promises, “Your goodness will be appreciated”, which only leads to disappointment.

I live in Manhattan and have no reason to believe there are still stars in the sky.

Marlene Niche, who did a study of Criminal Impulses, reports Pisces showing up in charts of criminals characterized as egomaniacal, narcissistic and paranoid and frequently in the charts of rapists who were into BDS&M.

My sign is said to 'go with the flow' and 'not make waves.' I’m best known for making waves and get calls for pro bono advice when someone wants to return an item or lodge a complaint.

Pisceans are supposed to put the needs of others ahead of their own. I'm always first in line at a buffet and freely grab the one empty seat in the subway while my husband, an Aries, lets everyone go ahead of him.

It’s mostly dopey people who believe in astrology, and when you challenge it as a science, they cite things like the moon and rising signs. If you’re going to put all that effort into reading about something, you're better off learning a new language.