The one who dies with the most guns wins...unless you're Mc Cain, in which case you've already escaped death
Waterboarding may not be torture...unless it's happening to you or you're Mc Cain
Ties should be red...unless they're blue
Being gay may or may not rule you out from serving your country...unless you already have
Immigrants are a problem...unless you need them to do work at your mansion
Don't worry about "the other"...unless you're Giuliani and she's "the other woman"
Hair matters...but that's bi-partisan