Saturday, November 3, 2007

gone are the good old days

this is it! i have had it. if it weren't enough that woman have to work, raise a family, keep a nice house and look like pamela anderson, only with an i.q. of 185, now we have a new situation to deal with.

it seems that a british woman, paula radcliffe, who holds the world's record in the woman's marathon, ran throughout her entire pregnancy last year. she even ran the day before she gave birth to her baby and twelve days later she started running again. during the first five months of her pregnancy, she ran an hour and fifteen minutes in the morning and then another forty-five minutes in the evening. further along in her pregnancy, she cut back to only an hour of running in the morning and then she rode her stationary bike in the evening.

now, here's the thing. none of us ever wanted to be superwoman but somehow society has thrust that on us women. the only time in my adult life when i felt it was o.k. to relax, let my stomach hang out and put my feet up was when i was pregnant. for nine months no one expected anything of or from me. i was seen as doing a very important job. just eating and sleeping was all that was required of me and if i actually did do something like say, cook a meal or go to the market, not only was i applauded but then i was told to go lie down and rest. it was heaven and don't even get me started on that eating for two thing. now i understand why some women have eight or ten kids - that nine months of pregnancy was well worth it.

until now. this paula radcliffe chick had to come along and ruin it for us all. no more lolling around on the sofa watching the soaps while the husband is doing the vacuuming. because of this british bitch, whose story made the front pages of the new york times, we are all now going to be expected to do more than just lie around expecting. i can just hear it now, the next time any of us ask the husband to run to the market for a container of milk, "why don't you run down to the market yourself - if that radcliffe chick can run twenty-six miles pregnant, i think you could slow jog a half a mile to the grocery store and back. it wouldn't kill you you know".

yes, the good old days are gone. first they took away our right to stay home and be supported by a man, then they made it practically a sin for a man to hold a door open for us or pick up the tab on a first date - now this. it's just no fun to be a woman any more. as far as i can see, we have only two choices - tie on those running shoes and start training, or sign up for a sex change operation.

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