Tuesday, October 9, 2007

get that q-tip away from me!!

it seems that the latest craze sweeping the nation these days is finding our ancestral roots. all it takes is a q-tip, to swab the inside of your mouth for dna, about $400 and a mailing tube. there are companies springing up all over who are happy to take your money and your saliva and in a few weeks time will send you a list of long, lost and here-to-fore unknown relatives.

it seems a black woman in new york sent off her dna in hopes of finding her roots. what came up was a sixty-seven year old montana rancher. imagine this poor woman's surprise when this very white man, in a cowboy hat, showed up on her harlem door step.

now here is the truth. both of my parents were the youngest of nine. i have more aunts and uncles than i can shake a stick at and don't even get me started on my dozens of cousins. i have a gay cousin, a couple of communists, an arch conservative and an aunt, who every year checked herself into the local mental institution because they let her have the lead in the broadway musicals they put on to entertain the other patients. i have an another aunt who has been married six times and a cousin who never married and still managed to have four children. my uncle ben hasn't left his apartment since 1942, something about the japanese and my cousin vivian wore a pink tutu to school until she was graduated high school

in other words...why the hell would i want to find any more relatives? don't i have enough tsouris with my god given family. somehow, i don't really want to search the globe for any more crazy family members. this is a perfect example of less is more.


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