Sunday, October 28, 2007

A Divorce Announcement: Whose Side Are You On?

Divorce has been re-branded. In the Style Section of today’s New York Times is an article on a new practice, announcing a break-up -- either by sending printed cards or shooting out a group e-mail --though to be sure it gets read, I’d include a scary hoax warning.

Some experiencing a marital break-up report that making light of the painful process helps with the healing. By taking control and spreading the news personally, you get to set the tone. You could go with something like, “The private eye confirmed my fears so please send sedatives and names of high-powered attorneys” or “I finally understand why you always rolled your eyes when she opened up her mouth”.

We have a friend whose first wife left in such a rage, she took everything, even the built-ins. I see that as the Katrina of divorces, and he would have been wise to send out announcements, register at William Sonoma and have friends throw him a divorce shower. Moving on isn’t easy, but doing it without a face towel or fork is something nobody should have to face.

These divorce notifications could be modeled on wedding invitations and include a response card that asks recipients to check off which of the former partners they intend to side with. And why limit it to divorce? How about cards to publicize losing a job, law suit, diamond earrings or memory. It would provide more opportunitities to troll for sympathy.