Tuesday, October 30, 2007

bring back the tin foil on the rabbit ears, please!

today we are getting hdtv. i am not really sure what that means, except i do know that yet another strange, little, man is going to come into my home and add even more boxes and wires and remotes to the mess we already have, surrounding our televisions. according to our son, who has instigated this upgrade, hdtv is going to change our lives. i like my life the way it is but far be it from me to keep the husband mired in the dark ages when he could be a hip, with it, twenty-first century kind of guy.

once we have hdtv, our son assures us, we will never be able to watch regular tv again. apparently this new mode of television is so clear that people and images are even sharper than when you see them in person. in other words, hdtv is better than the human eye. i don't know about you, but i truly do not need to see barbara walters or mike wallace any clearer than i do right now. even katie couric is starting to look a little frayed around the edges and that is just with plain, old, normal t.v.

in addition to the pleasure of being able to identify every mole and pimple on our local weatherman's face, hdtv affords us the opportunity to watch up to 1000 channels. according to my calculations, that is going to elevate channel surfing to an olympic sport. if you spend just one minute, on each channel, you will have to allocate sixteen hours and forty-five minutes a day to channel changing. if you factor in time for sleeping and eating - oh my god - the husband is going to have to retire! he is going to stay home - all day - with me.

there's the door bell. it must be the little man with his boxes and wires. i am not going to answer the door. maybe, he will go away and i can be left at peace with barbara and katie, safely blurry, and my husband at work where he belongs.

No comments: