Monday, September 24, 2007

why i never go to sleep in hospitals

a venezuelan man woke up the other day in a morgue. he had been in a car accident and was declared dead. he said the excruciating pain of the beginning cuts of the autopsy woke him.

now, here is what i want to know. shouldn't you have to be more than just appear to be dead, before they crank up the chain saw and start cracking your ribs? this poor man was just in a deep sleep. i am glad this venezuelan doctors are not around my house on a sunday afternoon when the husband is in the middle of one of his marathon week-end naps. i am positive it would take more than a chain saw to wake him.

and what about this poor man's wife. she was told he was dead. she went out, i am sure, and bought a proper mourning ensemble, only to show up at the hospital to find her husband alive and kicking. now, if this were a happy marriage, i am certain there was joy all around and let's face it, you can always use a good black dress. but, what if they weren't happily married? what if, on hearing of the untimely death of her husband, the merry widow immediately ran into the arms of her lover? and let's say the lover, on hearing the news, finally told his wife of twenty-five years that he was leaving her for his true love. i think you can see where this is leading.

i know the doctors have labeled this event an unfortunate accident but still....this is exactly why i never go to sleep in hospitals.

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