Thursday, September 6, 2007

where have all the bad girls gone?

i never thought i would say this but i miss paris, lindsay, brittany and nicole. now that the summer is over and the harsh realities of the world are once again making front page news, i could sure use the bad girls of summer to distract us.

who could even think about the war when we had paris going to jail, being sprung and then forced back to jail again. just the memory of her release from the slammer, walking that gauntlet of paparazzi and then falling, sobbing into her mother's arms still gives me chills.

and brittany - brittany. that head shaving incident made me and, i am sure, the rest of our nation, completely forget the economy and our lack of universal health care. it was so much easier the fixate on brittany's bald pate than on the thousands of young people we have sent to their deaths in iraq for no reason at all.

nicole, with her hour and a half jail sentence and her tiny, little anorexic baby bump, just made me want to run out and knit booties, leaving me little time to fixate on alberto gonzales and his lying ways.

and then there was lindsay, how i miss her. just one drunk driving incident could banish all the ugly news off the front pages for days. all we have heard from lindsay lately is that she was doing a fellow patient in the bathroom of her rehab center. even larry craig can do better than that.

somehow, when men are involved in a scandal, a la michael vick or the aforementioned larry craig, while it does take up air time and newsprint, it is never as captivating and distracting as our girls. with the new fall season still weeks away, the war showing no signs of winding down and 502 days, 3 hours, 23 minutes and 11.5 seconds left in bush's administration (it feels like my countdown key chain is moving about as slowly downward as my scale) we could sure use a good, old fashioned all girl scandal. come on paris - do it for your country!

No comments: