i happen to have caught your appearance, last night, on david letterman's show and i just had to write. i know your people booked you on dave's in an effort to promote your warm and funny side. it worked - you were warm and funny, but hillary, can we talk about your outfit?
many years ago, when woman were first entering the work place in number's never before seen, when ms. magazine and betty friedan and gloria steinem were all telling us that we deserved equal pay for equal work and also something about a fish and a bicycle - we women felt, no, we knew, that in order to succeed in a man's world we had to dress like men. a whole generation of women went out and bought black, gray and navy suits, sensible blouses and in many cases ties, in order to dress themselves for their assault on wall street and the boardrooms of major companies across the country.
that was then - this is now and what we learned, between then and now, is that it is not how we women dress, but how we perform, that matters. it is already a given that no one can outperform you. you are probably the smartest and most capable politician to come down the pike in a long time. not since, let's see, oh yeah, bill clinton , have we seen the likes of you. we know you are bright and funny and capable you don't have to dress like the p.t.a. president of a mid-western elementary school. i know what you are trying to do. i know that you think you have to look relateable to all the american women out there, but you are wrong. american women don't want their movie stars or their politicians to look like them - they want them to look better than them.
hillary, you are our first shot at the white house. of course we want you to be wise and sensible and not frivolous, frittering away your days, and our money, wondering about what shoes to wear to the next cabinet meeting, but on the other hand, you are representing us - america and american women. we want you to be chic and classy. nothing over the top - we are not asking for madonna or jlo, but a page from nancy pelosi's fashion book wouldn't hurt.
i know you and bill are doing well now, kinahura (for my yiddish speaking readers i apologize - i don't know how to spell that word. if you do speak yiddish, however, you will know what i mean) and you can afford to spend a little money on clothes. hire a stylist. ban pastel pantsuits from your wardrobe. you have a nice figure - a little full through the hips but you can work with that. i am seeing something a-line, perhaps with a belt to show off your waist - come on hil - don't make me work so hard - you know what i mean.
believe me i have your own best interests at heart. i know that you will end the war in iraq and help us get universal health care and help fix new orleans and restore all the good will throughout the world that we lost during the bush years, but you can't do any of that, and so much more that needs to be done, if you don't win and guess what? you can never win an election in a country that truly believes it is more important to look good than to be good, unless you look good.
thank you for taking the time to read my letter and remember, when in doubt, think armani