Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Tips from the mother of a potential American president

I’ve heard each of the Clintons relate (not to me personally, but at huge fund-raisers) words of wisdom imparted by their parents, advice that may have been responsible for their ambition and confidence. Neither the Rodhams nor the Clintons seemed to have stepped on my mother's messages, namely, "It’s just as easy to marry someone rich” or “If he can get the milk free, he won’t buy the cow", neither of which is supported by the facts. Another thing my mother said repeatedly was, "Don't marry someone thinking you can change him," but that, I've discovered, didn't originate with her - and may, in fact, be what Hillary's mother should have expressed.

My son has always disabled my efforts to impart guidance by joking, teasing or an explicit, “not now”. Despite all the public service ads recommending we speak to our children about sex, alcohol and drugs, he quickly cut off my attempts. The only advice I managed to give was, “Don’t do anything you’re unsure about in excess”, “Everyone needs to exercise,” “Wear sunscreen” and, “Have as much fun as you can with the least possible risk”.

Just in case our son should become President and be asked what advice I gave, I’ve compiled a list so I don't go down in history as having been an uninvolved parent:

-Very little will go as you anticipate, so when agonizing over a decision, know that what you make of the circumstance is every bit as significant as the choice you make

-Plants need less water than you think, and you need more

-Explaining your needs may create a partner who wants to help

-It never hurts to pack an umbrella

-You don’t’ have to pay a lot to get good wine

-Fear of commitment may actually be fear of loss

-Asking for help or directions is smart, not a sign of weakness

-Contractors and politicians lie more easily than the rest of us

-The way you carry and present yourself says more than your physical appearance

-It's harder to dump a friend than to make one

-Take care of your teeth and gums

-Don't let the gas tank get down to empty

-One size doesn’t fit all

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