Tuesday, June 19, 2007

they come back

while my heart is with sybil and the pain of the final good-bye, i have some words of wisdom i would like to share. being that i am the mother of two (who are quite a bit older than sybil's one) i have shared sybil's pain, not once, but twice. two times i have stood at aiport gates and train stations. twice i have sent my babies to camp, to friend's homes in far away states, to college, to foreign countries where i was sure a war would erupt at any second or, even worse, my children would not take their vitamins or eat properly.

i have wept at good-byes both large and small. a half day at nursery school, a full day in kindergarten, a summer at camp, a junior year abroad, a first apartment and the most wrenching good-bye of all, a marriage. but here is what i have to tell you. THEY COME BACK!!

be it divorce, lack of employment or in my daughter's case, a beloved pet's illness that required that my daughter and her cat, stinky, take up residence in a safe and loving place, children come home. long after you have lovingly packed and stored all their things in the garage or attic, long after you have converted their rooms into a gym, guest bedroom or craft room, they show up. suitcase in one hand - english bull dog in the other.

at first you are overjoyed. the beloved child is home once again. home where they belong - in the bosom of their family. but with the beloved child comes their stuff. at first, being adult children, they manage to confine their stuff to their designated room but eventually, being children (adult or not they are still your children), they allow their stuff to slowly leak into other areas of the house. soon you find yourself tripping over tennis shoes in the den or cleaning up dirty dishes from the living room. ah, just like the good old days.

now, don't get me wrong - i love and adore my children and would be happy to keep them under my roof forever. they are the kindest, funniest, dearest children that ever were. it is just that, once they are gone, you mourn and you weep and you cry and then you move on. once you move on - once you re-decorate, there is no going back. you can't go home again once your mother has taken over your closet. that is just a fact of life.

so cry sybil, weep for those long lost baby days but don't invest in new carpet for the soon to be dreamed of guest room. he will be back.

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